They usually come out of nowhere. The days that chew you up and spit you out. The days that never let you win. The days you fight through with a smile, because there’s nothing else you can do. Days like today when I really miss having someone.
Someone who I can just vent to about what happened. What annoyed me. Who annoyed me. Someone to share the laughs with. And the tears. And entire nothingness. But mostly I just miss having someone to hold me when I’m feeling down.
It always seems to come down to the little things. The way they would look at you. Or the way they would hold your hand. The way they would say your name. The way they would scratch your back. The way they would make sure everything was ok. The way they would make your stomach tickle.
You go on and on, each day, telling yourself you don’t need anyone. That you’re fine on your own. That you’re happier this way. But it always hurts, deep down in the pit of your liver that is trying to recover from the alcohol you chug to forget. To forget about them and what they did to you. To forget about having to forget them. But some days, it’s just harder to keep those feelings at bay.
That’s how it is for me, at least.
Until next time,